So, when I was pregnant I imagined our little boy was going to have brown eyes and olive skin. After all, all of my friends and family members who have bi-racial kids all have brown eyes and olive skin. I am not gonna lie, I did wish for blue eyes, but other than that, I just assumed my little boy would have some sort of pigment similar to mine.
When they're newborns, you don't know what they will look like or what their true skin color will be, but as the weeks passed by, we started to realized that our little fella would be taking after his papà, fair skinned and blue eyed. They have to look like someone, right? I love that he looks just like his dad, its the sweetest. I also know that might change as he gets older. But I was not prepared for people to think I was not his mother because of it.
I am brown girl raised by a single mom who is fair skinned so It never really dawned on my that my child and I having different skin colors might affect how the world sees our relationship at first glance because it's my normal.
I understand that Easton looks nothing like me. But for some reason, it took me a minute to gets used to the idea that people might think I am the nanny. This started to happen when he was roughly 6 months old. People would make comments like "what a cute baby" or "Which one of his parent did he get those blue eyes from?" and I would think, well obviously his dad since clearly I have brown eyes. But then it started to dawn on me, that no one would directly acknowledge me as his mom and they assumed I was his caregiver/nanny. And I get it, there could not be more contrast between Easton & me.
One Time D & I were out having coffee. Dane and Easton were with us, and I was holding Easton, and the server says, "He's such a cute baby." When I responded with a thank you, from the look on her face it completely caught her off guard and she followed up with something like, "Oh, he's yours". We had a good little chuckle about it, but this is how it's been since the first time I took him out.
At Gymboree, I have on more than one occasion been asked about his parents and I wonder if this is why I am having a hard time meeting other moms at these places like, Gymboree where your supposed to go to meet other mamas. Do they just all assume I am his nanny and therefor don't bother making a connection beyond the pleasantries?
When you are a first time mom, you want nothing more than for people to acknowledge the fact that you are now a mama and you have this adorable baby as proof. So at first, I thought it was funny, then I started to take it personal, it almost started to feel offensive like, just because I don't look like him, or my skin is brown, doesn't mean my the only possibility is that I am the nanny. But then I realized that it doesn't affect my relationship with Easton. To him I am his mama and that is all that matters and I got over it.
As he gets older and more vocal, we joke around that I should start carrying additional proof that he is my child just in case we get separated, or are traveling without papà and the airline needs additional proof (hello southwest). What used to bother me has become a nice ice breaker and conversation starter and I honestly can not imagine him looking any different. I love that from youth he is already exposed to such diversity just in his own household.
I am curious, do you have any weird stories like this or is there anything that surprised you when you became a first time mom?